By Edgar Watson Howe
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
"Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better." This Edgar Watson Howe quote about relationships offers an unexpected focus that feels both honest and practical in a world where we are often told to "turn the other cheek." In just a handful of words, it suggests that you might make a bigger difference by looking closer to home, rather than striving for sainthood. With a little reflection, this quote opens the door to smarter, healthier connections with the people who truly matter day to day.
What Does This Quote Mean?
At first glance, the quote by Edgar Watson Howe seems to turn a classic moral lesson on its head. Instead of pouring your energy into loving your enemies — those who have wronged or angered you — it suggests you focus on treating your friends with extra care and kindness. Rather than making grand gestures toward those who might not value your efforts, the real wisdom here is to nurture the people who already stand by your side.
The literal meaning is clear: give more thought, attention, and kindness to the friends in your life. The quote notes a simple truth about relationships: we can sometimes become so fixated on mending distant hurts or impressing those who don’t care for us, that we neglect the people who offer us genuine warmth and support. Edgar Watson Howe’s quote about relationships challenges us to shift our gaze. True strength and goodness, it suggests, come not from seeking approval from adversaries, but from taking good care of the relationships that already enrich our lives.
Metaphorically, the quote points to a larger pattern in human behavior. Many strive for universal acceptance, or devote time to healing old wounds at the expense of present joy. But what if the best use of compassion and loyalty is right in front of us? The message here invites a more grounded, rewarding approach: there is deep value in nurturing our bonds with those who have shown us love, rather than trying to win over those who haven’t. In other words, do not overlook your nearest sources of happiness in the pursuit of distant, unlikely victories.
How Can You Use This Quote in Life?
1. Remember to check in with your close friends
Life gets busy, and it’s surprisingly easy to overlook those who have always been there for you. Make it a point to send a text, pick up the phone, or invite a friend out — even for something small, like coffee or a walk. Don’t wait until someone is hurting or there’s an obvious need. Consistent, simple outreach is how you keep relationships healthy and valued.
2. Let people know you appreciate them
We often assume our true friends know how much they matter to us, but saying it out loud still means the world. Take a minute to write a thank-you note, compliment someone’s strengths, or express how much their support has helped you. This practice inspired by the Edgar Watson Howe quote about relationships can deepen bonds and boost happiness for both you and your friends.
3. Set healthy boundaries with negative people
It’s natural to want to resolve conflict or make peace with those who oppose you. But sometimes, investing too much energy in difficult or toxic relationships can drag you down. Instead, notice when your efforts are better spent supporting the friends who lift you up, rather than always trying to convert "enemies." Protect your time and peace of mind.
4. Celebrate your friends’ wins
Be the first to congratulate a friend on their promotion, personal achievement, or good news. Show up for important moments and let them know their happiness matters to you. A simple text, message, or celebratory dinner goes further than grand gestures aimed at impressing outsiders.
5. Practice forgiveness — but prioritize your support circle
It’s healthy to let go of grudges and be kind, even to people who have hurt you. But the real change happens when you invest that same energy into being an even better friend to those who care about you. Forgive where you can, but double down on being a good presence for those in your inner circle.
By putting this wisdom into action, your relationships can become more satisfying and resilient. You’ll build trust, foster loyalty, and create more happiness — for yourself and your friends.
✨ The Motivation Message
You have an amazing circle of connections — whether it’s one close friend or a handful of loyal supporters. Imagine the difference it would make if you took that extra step, every now and then, to brighten their lives. Your attention, kindness, and effort are precious! Why scatter them on people who don’t appreciate you, when you could lift up those who are always in your corner?
The truth is, you do not need to win over everyone to live well. Cherish the ones who show up for you, laugh with you, and listen when times get tough. Every tiny gesture — a shared smile, a kind word, a thoughtful text — plants seeds of joy and security. You have the power to nurture unbreakable bonds, starting today. 🌟
So go ahead: surprise a friend with a call, share your gratitude, and be the supporter you wish for in your own life. Your best relationships deserve it. Make this your challenge — treat your friends a little better, starting now!
About Edgar Watson Howe
Edgar Watson Howe, who was born in 1853 and died in 1937, was a respected American novelist, newspaper editor, and social commentator. He is best known for his keen observations about daily life, human nature, and the ordinary choices people make. Howe published his own newspaper, the Atchison Globe, and became famous for his editorial wit, folksy wisdom, and often satirical take on social conventions.
His work reflects a mix of dry humor and practical honesty, cutting through abstract ideals to focus on simple truths. The quote "Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better" is a classic example of Edgar Watson Howe’s approach — grounded, honest, and a little contrarian. Rather than urging people to chase impossible moral perfection, Howe’s message was to recognize the small, powerful acts that shape genuine happiness and real-world relationships.
Throughout his writing, Edgar Watson Howe emphasized authenticity, loyalty, and common sense. His perspective on relationships challenges his audience to skip the grand slogans and instead put more care into everyday connections with loved ones and friends. In this way, his words remain just as timely and refreshing today as they were a century ago.
